On My Mind

This might be kind of a strange post..but it’s been on my mind lately, so maybe someone has some advice for me..

Little family background: (trying to summarize..but it’s hard)My biological Mom decided to divorce my dad when I was two years old. My dad got full custody of me (he fought HARD in the custody battle– so unusual for a father to get full custody back in 1989..) & I saw my biological mom every other weekend. Well, when I was 7 years old, I stopped seeing her- her choice. She just was not a good mom…so, my step mom (who I refer to now as my mom) raised me. She is the absolute BEST mom in the world…I am so blessed.

Ok, so, when I was 18/ 19 years old, my cousin contacted me thru Facebook (ha- I know!) and said that my biological mom wanted to speak to me. At first, I was like NO WAY! But, then I re-considered & I figured what harm could be done if I spoke to her?! So, I gave my cousin my number & she gave it to my biological mom. Come to find out, I am really glad that I did speak to her- I found out she had break cancer, is now in remission, but it is good to know!! Now I know it runs in my blood & I am at high risk for getting it.

For the past few years (I am now 23) I have been in contact with her & have met her in person. We have gotten closer- but, I told her up front that she will NEVER be my “mom”- she wasn’t a mom, I have a Mom. We can be friends, but that is all that it will be. I know it may sound harsh, but where was she for the last 15 years of my life??

So, now I am in contact with her, and I do her from her- but, she refers to herself as “Mom” and lately it has REALLY been bothering me. It’s like she feels like she can come into my life & suddenly be a MOM?!? NO! That is NOT ok! I have a Mom & it is NOT her. I don’t mind be friends, but that is IT! She treats me like I am a 12 year old sometimes & it bothers me SO much. I just have not worked up the nerve to say anything. It’s hard for me to talk to people about it- b/c they cannot relate. I talk to Craig about it, but it’s hard for him to understand because his parents are still together- no one in his family has gotten a divorce. (I LOVE that part about his family!! :)) I’m just kind of stuck.

Sorry, I know this is kind of deep for a beginning post, but I just had to get it out! It’s been on my mind ALOT lately.

My Dad, my Hero ♥

My MOM!! ♥

 Hope you guys are having a good night!! Thanks for letting me vent 🙂

I have not eaten dinner yet, otherwise I would post it- waiting for Craig to get home- he was playing golf with the guys from his work.

🙂

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2 Comments

  1. My parents are no longer together so I understand a tiny bit what oyu are going through. I’d tell her that it bothers you. Say something like “Im happy you are in my life now, but unfortunately, you werent there for me growing up and someone else was who I consider mom. Im glad you are here now and that we are friends”.

    Im sorry 😦 that had to be so hard.

    Reply
    • Ya, I definitely think I need to say something. I’m just kind of nervous- I’ve always been the “too nice” person- so I have a hard time saying what is on my mind..but I think the only way that it will work out is if I say something.
      Thanks for the advice! 🙂 I really appreciate it- & sorry for such a ‘heavy’ blog so early- it’s just been bugging me lately!!

      Reply

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